EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON

It's the one saying I truly hate. But, I have to say that it rings true for me. Especially now.

Dark days for me in these last few weeks. First, my childhood friend's mother dies suddently.

Next--I found out my best friend has breast cancer. Stage 3. I'm trying to keep it together, but I ask...WHY? WHY? I mean, she's 34 years old. Why? And, she has great boobs, I might add. She has to do chemo for the next six months. I'm crying just thinking about it. I wouldn't wish chemo on my worst enemy. I had to do it for my kidney issues a couple of years ago, but not to the cancer patient degree. I can't imagine anything worse. My heart is bleeding.

And, speaking of hearts...my heart is heavy right now. I've been stuck in Palm Desert for the last 12 days. I was supposed to be here for a fun weekend, which turned into a very scary time for me. My mom was rushed to the hospital and was admitted with respiratory failure. Turns out, she has pneumonia. There's nothing worse than seeing a parent on a breathing respirator...tube down the throat and all. Just awful. I sat there for 5 days while she was completely sedated...out cold.

Finally, she comes out of it, they take out the tube and then, we find out she had a heart attack. I'm thinking we're in the clear...nope. Turns out she has to have open heart surgery because 7 of her major arteries are blocked, at more than the 70% level. I'm not sure how much I can really handle. And, I'm freaked out at this point. Trying to stay positive, but I honestly do not know what I would do without her. I'm currently in the middle of transferring her over to USC medical center. With the help of some old friends, I have her in the care of one of the top cardiothorasic surgeons in the country. He actually was Gov Schwarzenegger's cadiac surgeon. Ironically, now that I think back...I just saw him when I was having lunch with my mom on my birthday a couple of weeks ago.

Anyway, that's where I'm at. But, I have to say....there is a reason why things happen and I'm not sure why. But, after I have heard the "everything happens for a reason" phrase repeatedly over this past year...I realize...thank goodness that I am in California and NOT in NYC. I would just die if all of this happened while I was 3000 miles away. I would definitely quit my job. I would do just about anything for my family and with this going on...I would just never forgive myself if I had to go back to NYC. So...my NYC plans are on hold for now...temporarily.

The timing of all of this is very weird, especially considering that I have been in serious talks with Peacock Productions in NYC. It would be my dream job. But for some reason...fate is making me stay here in LA for now. And, I'm not about to test fate.

So, all I can do is stay positive, and hope for the best right now.
I guess maybe everything DOES happen for a reason.

I'm starting to accept that.